Nine Days Later

As you know by now, my beloved Papa unexpectedly went to be with the Lord last Wednesday night. He had complained of chest pains for not more than two hours, but the pain did not appear to be heart-related. Since he had been fighting a chest cold, we were not especially concerned. We talked to a physician who is also our personal friend, and he directed us to some over-the-counter meds that we had on hand. I thought perhaps Papa was getting pneumonia, but he had no fever. We had no idea that he had an aortic aneurysm.

Stephen had been at home for a week or so, but was headed back to TN that evening to help with the cleanup from massive tornado damage at his college the night before. Only perhaps three minutes after he left, Papa passed out in the floor, made a few groaning sounds, and was gone. No warning! We were told later that he would not have survived even if he had been on an operating table when the aneurysm ruptured. The rest of that night was a blur of phone calls and a house full of people. Many wonderful friends came out as soon as they heard the news. It was a long, sleepless night.

Though Papa's death was a huge shock to all who knew him, this did not catch God by surprise. We rest in the knowledge that He is in control, and that He never makes mistakes. His grace is sufficient for all situations. He will use this for good.

Papa was greatly loved by everyone who knew him. Literally hundreds of people turned out for the visitation and funeral. It was such a blessing to hear them speak of his godly character, caring servanthood, and quiet faith. He left behind a great legacy that has already inspired many people. On Saturday afternoon, he was laid to rest next to our Jonathan who was killed in March, 2003.

My three living children and I are now faced with the challenge of learning to live without the man we all have loved and greatly depended upon in so many ways. He was my husband, my rock, my lover, and my dearest friend. I can't begin to imagine life without the man I fell in love with at the age of 18, married a couple of years later, and lived a beautiful life with for over thirty-one years. Yet I know that God will carry all of us through this. He is good!

It brings me great joy to know that dear Papa and our precious Jonathan are together again, no doubt having lots of fun experiencing the wonders of Heaven together. They have not ceased to exist, but rather are living in a real place doing real things. I suspect that they have already found a good fishing hole, and perhaps have even taken a speedy motorcycle ride on the streets of gold. They are no longer hindered by earth's limitations and dangers.

Though my heart is broken, I am completely at peace in this great loss. I will always love my Papa, and I will miss him until the day I see him again. Yet I know beyond any doubt that my God is faithful. His grace is sufficient. I am going to be ok.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and loving support!